Household Saints
I don’t know why I am deciding to post this, but I feeling God is calling me to share this with you. My home is not exactly the ideal Catholic home. You maybe say but what home really is? Sometimes I feel so alone, because unlike others in my home, my faith an integral part of my life. Sunday is not sunday without going to mass. I need to go to confess at least once a month. I enjoy Eucharistic adoration. These are not things I can really enjoy with my family. I knew giving my life to Christ would make me feel like an outcast with my friends, but it is my family who makes me feel like an outcast. My father would prefer that I was chasing women and have sex like he thinks every other boy my age is. My mother and sister think I am obsessed. I love my family so much and I wish we all had the same intensity when it came to our faith. I wish we could do things like go to mass together or pray a family rosary.
Last week, my dad busted into my room while I was praying a rosary. He looked at me and quickly left. The next day he came up to me pretty concerned and said to me “Why were you praying a rosary?” I looked at him with anger but quickly held back because he obviously didn’t know what he was saying. “Are you keeping some kind of novena?”, he asked me. “You are nineteen years and all you do is lock yourself in the room pray and read the Bible.” He continued to rant. “How come you can’t be like everyone else. How come you are not chasing girls, like others boys your age.” “I am religious”, he said. “I am religious to a degree. I go to church sometimes. I even have a devotion to the angels and saints.” He continued to talk but I slowly drifted off. How could he talking about the love he has for the saints in heaven, when he doesn’t even appreciate the saints in his home. I am not being proud, I don’t deserve to describe myself as a saint, because I am far from holy. I am trying though.
After he left, I took a deep breathe. I felt the tears coming, but I sucked them up. Then I remembered Luke 4:24 “Amen, I say to you, no prophet is accepted in his own native place.” Why should I cry, If I am truly living the gospel, I will be rejected. Then I remembered this verse. “They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law (Luke 12:49-53).” WHOA!! Look my life reflected scripture. That gave me so much peace. I was doing the right thing.
Please pray for me and my family! Send me some feedback if you are going through something similar. Let us support each other.
St. Eustace, Patron Invoked in Times of Family Troubles, pray for us
Jacques, be strong. God has a plan for you. Maybe your good example will lead your Dad closer to Jesus. I’ll pray for you and your family.
Thanks for the support!!
Well it sounds to me like you’re dad feels he’s doing plenty. If you feel like you have to do more, than he feels that tug that he should be doing more and he doesn’t like that comparison. He may also be worried that you’re motivated primarily out of fear and that you’re missing out on what he believes makes life worthwhile.
The best ground with any evangalization is to find common ground. When you see them at Mass, go out of your way to say how good it was to see them there. If you’re going to go to confession, just tell people “Hey I’m going to go to the church for confession. Anyone need or want to come along?” They’ll usually say no. Don’t say anything about them saying no. Just leave that door open for them to take the offer.
And don’t take defensiveness too hard. I have a friend who gets really angry and defensive when I tell him about some Church dogma or doctrine he wasn’t aware of or that he’s resistant to. After he puts up that major defense, a week he’s off giving the same argument I gave him to someone else. He’s like “you’ve gotta stop rubbing off on me.”
Thanks for your feedback Angela, I really appreciate it!
Hey Jacques
Allie D. here from the Life on Fire podcast. I am definitely in the same boat as you. When I started going back to church and youth group in high school, my parents couldn’t understand (although it didn’t help that the year before I was refusing to receive Confirmation since I didn’t believe in God at that point-I had a pretty sudden & large turn-around). But now, even 5 years later at age 21, it’s still a major problem. Just a couple of weeks ago, I went to Sunday morning mass and met up with Chris & Tanya. We decided to go to Dunkin Donuts afterwards to catch up and I was about to call my parents to let them know of my plans when they called me screaming that I should have been home a half hour ago. There’ve been quite a few times where my parents have grounded and forbidden me to attend Church functions and that makes me so angry. I’m so frustrated that I’ve been trying to save up funds so I can move out because trying to convince my family that I’m doing the right thing is just too exhausting. I want to lead my family to Heaven just like you, but that mission shouldn’t take us off of our own faith journey. I know it has for me, which is why I’m just like “Ok Lord, this is too much for me. I need You to take care of them. I’ll keep praying, but I need You to take care of the rest.”
I think the hardest thing is like you were saying - the people you meet in your parish become your best friends, a second family, so you do have a community to share your joys and frustrations of God with. My Catholic friends are the ones I can turn to for anything, anytime, anywhere. We don’t feel awkward asking one of us to pray for the other. However, it still hurts that I can’t share my faith with my own family that I live with (for now). Angela’s advice is right on - exactly what I was gonna say if she hadn’t already.
As far as your dad - my relationship with my dad is pretty vague too. Have you tried talking to him about how there are more meaningful pursuits in life than “chasing girls”? If you show him that you’d rather respect women than treat them as objects (which is exactly what you’re doing if your only interest is sex), he may better understand where you’re coming from. Maybe he thinks you’re hiding because you’re scared of pursuing a relationship, which I don’t think is the case (although I don’t know you or your situation at all). I’m currently discerning a call to ministry and my family sure as heck doesn’t see that as an acceptable career. I applied to NET Ministries (they unfortunately didn’t accept me at this time) and they were strongly discouraging me, calling it a “cult.” They were actually pushing me to audition for “American Idol” instead because somehow that was much more worthwhile in their eyes. I actually had to explain to them that as much as I love performing, I’d rather do something meaningful with my life than flaunt myself on reality TV where I know my every word could be misconstrued just for the sake of ratings.
The best thing to do is to keep living for Christ, even in the mundane parts of your daily routine. Show the people around you what a wonderful person you are - and when they get curious and ask you how you came to be this way, give all the credit to Jesus. That, and pray - I’ll be praying for you & your family. Although this isn’t a fantastic situation to be in, it makes me feel a little better to know I’m not alone in the fight. Feel free to drop me a line if you ever wanna talk more…sorry for the large ramble. God Bless & good luck!
God bless you. You are bold in your faith and walk with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He will strengthen you as you walk as a warrior in God’s Kingdom. Your response to your father was right. You honored your father without taking a retaliatory position. Only God can change a man’s heart. Be patient and pray for each of your family members. You have a heart like King David. God looks at our hearts. Continue to be strong in the Lord. He is using you as the pillar in your family to draw them closer to Him. Not everyone is on fire for the Lord. In God’s time, their hearts will be turned toward Him. Praise and Glory be to God.